No, I’m not talking about the spider that just scurried across the floor or the zombies in a George Romero movie. Those are superficial fears (well mostly superficial, some spiders…*shudders*). I’m talking about the fundamental fears, the ones that shake you to your core. I’ll start with an obvious fear of mine…
This one is pretty obvious. Death is a very scary thing because we don’t know anything about it, yet it’s so prevalent in our lives. It’s not so much dying that scares me, rather it’s thought of ceasing to exist. Many people have coping mechanisms for this such as religion which offers numerous explanations for what what happens after death, most of which allow peace of mind by guaranteeing that existence goes in some form or other. For those who cannot take comfort with this explanation that requires the utmost faith, death is a much scarier concept. Thinking more about it doesn’t really help though. It just invites paradoxical discussion about life that ends up leaving you with a sense of disappointment. Really the best thing to do, for me at least, has been to try not to think about it and just indulge in as many things as I can (like Cheez-Its).
Not Being Able to Tell the Difference Between What’s Real and Fake
No, I’m not talking about being able to tell wether or not that Yu-Gi-Oh! card you just traded for is actually a Chinese bootleg, I’m talking about being disoriented so much so that you for some reason can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what’s an illusion.
Look around you, everything you see seems tangible and you can say with confidence that, according to your perception, it’s real. Now imagine if that were not the cas. What if those same things you believed to be real were just an illusion? I feel like it would be like dreaming except you never “wake up” and return to a world of consistency. If it helps, imagine the last scene of Inception, yeah, just like that.
No, I’m not talking about being left home watching Netflix on a friday night because you’re friends forgot to invite you to something, I’m talking about the absence of sensory engagement with the world. When left to our own devices, we become more aware of ourselves because that’s the only concrete thing left. It’s like self-reflection on overdrive. Everything about your being is suddenly brought to forefront of your mind. Hopefully you get a sense of what I’m trying to describe, I’m not always the clearest writer and I will not apologize for that.
So, what scares you?